Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Friday, October 20, 2006
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Friday, October 13, 2006
CHILDREN'S LOGIC
- Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. A small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked."Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child.
- A grandmother was surprised by her 7-year-old grandson one morning. He had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life. When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green army men in the cup. She said, "Honey, what are the army men doing in my coffee?" Her grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV - 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup !"
- Susie Sunshine asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Jimmy's picture which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent. "The flight to Egypt," said Jimmy." I see . . . and that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus," Ms.Susie said. "But who's the fourth person?""Oh, that's Pontius the Pilot."
- An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into heaven?" The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll just run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, For heaven's sake, Jimmy, come in or stay out."
- A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster." No," said another, "he's just for good luck."A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."
- Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that, Mommy?" he asked." To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue."What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny, "Giving up?"
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
GREAT QUOTES BY GREAT LADIES
- Inside every older lady is a younger lady wondering what the hell happened. Cora Harvey Armstrong-
- Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut her up with cookies.
- The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. Helen Hayes (at 73)
- I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think ofthem as stray eyebrows.
- Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. Lily Tomlin-
- A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
- Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you crywith your girlfriends.
- Old age ain't no place for sissies. Bette Davis
- A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't. Rhonda Hansome
- The phrase "working mother" is redundant. Jane Sellman
- Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows.
- Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. Charlotte Whitton
- Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. Caryn Leschen
- I try to take one day at a time -- but sometimes several days attack me at once.
- If you can't be a good example -- then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
- When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow!
- I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb-- and I'm also not blonde. Dolly Parton
- If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
- I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. Roseanne Barr
- When women are depressed they either eat or goshopping. Men invade another country.
- Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
- In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman. Margaret Thatcher
- I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. Gloria Steinem
- I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house. Zsa Zsa Gabor
- Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. Eleanor Roosevelt
Monday, October 09, 2006
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Sunday, October 01, 2006
NaNoWriMo
Vous vous demandez peut-être ce que cela mange en hiver le NaNoWriMo???
Et bien, ça mange des MOTS! C'est le National Novel Writing Month http://www.nanowrimo.org
C'est un exercice d'écriture rapide; en un mois il faut écrire un roman de 50 000 mots. Ça commence le 1er novembre et ça se termine le 30 du même mois, à minuit (23h59 est-il précisé sur le site officiel)!
Il n'y a pas de gagnant ou de perdant. Celui qui écrit son roman, aura, au bout d'un mois, un roman (!) et la satisfaction d'avoir mené un projet à terme. Celui qui ne termine pas ne sera pas grondé... un peu déçu peut-être...
Si vous voulez vous joindre à moi, n'hésitez pas. On peut choisir la langue dans laquelle on écrit, pour ma part je vais tenter l'aventure en anglais...
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Thursday, September 28, 2006
LES PERLES DU BACCALAURÉAT (c'est beau l'éducation nationale!!!)
- Comme Bonaparte, Jules César pouvait dicter plusieurs lettres à la fois, c'était un dictateur.
- Les dolmens étaient des espèces d'abribus postés tous les 100 mètres.
- L'histoire de Rome commence en 753 avenue Jésus-Christ.
- Les amazones étaient comme les femmes, mais encore plus méchantes.
- Jeanne d'Arc voyait des apparitions invisibles.C'est pour ça qu'on l'a brûlée.
- Au Moyen Age, la bonne santé n'avait pas encore été inventée.
- François 1er était le fils de François 0.
- C'est Richelieu qui fonda la Star Académy française.
- Louis XV était l'arrière petit fils de son oncle Louis XIV.
- La drôle de guerre, cependant, n'a fait rire personne.
- Le pôle est recouvert de glace: c'est la capote glaciaire.
- Dans le monde, il n'y a que la France qui n'est pas un pays étranger.
- Le Mexique était autrefois, le pays des pastèques.
- La Suisse est une fée des rations.
- La mer des caraïbes baigne les lentilles française.
- L'eau de mer sert, en particulier, à remplir les océans.
- On peut suivre une rivière dans un sens en amont et dans l'autre sens en l'avalant.
- Les quatre points cardinaux sont le haut, lebas, l'est et l'ouest.
- La Terre tourne en rond dans un sens et en travers dans l'autre sens.
- Socrate parlait beaucoup car il avait la langue bien pendante.
- Au pluriel, on dit des "cristaux" car il y a plusieurs cristals.
- Les devoirs où il y a des conjugaisons s'appellent les devoirs conjugaux.
- Victor Hugo est né à l'âge de 2 ans.
- Un sonnet est formé de deux quatrains et de deux tiercés.
- Toute sa vie, Montaigne a voulu écrire mais il n'a fait que des essais.
- A la fin de sa vie, l'écrivain Hemingway s'est suicidé pour mettre fin à ses jours.
- Un polygone est une figure qui a des côtés un peu partout.
- On dit qu'une ligne droite est perpendiculaire quand elle se met à tourner d'un coup.
- L'ovale est un cercle presque rond, mais quand même pas.
- Le losange est un carré tordu en biais.
- Le 0 est très utile, surtout si on le met derrière les autres nombres.
- Un nombre réel est un nombre qu'on peut toucher du doigt.
- La loi des probabilités s'appelle ainsi car on n'est pas sûr qu'elle existe.
- L'ordinateur peut faire plus de calculs que le cerveau de l'homme car il n'a que ça à faire.
- L'air pur est uniquement formé de gaz naturels.
- Une bouteille d'eau explose s'il gèle car, sous l'effet du froid, l'eau devient un explosif.
- En cas de grossesse, on fait une chorégraphie.
- Plus le train ralentit, moins sa vitesse est plus grande.
- Un corps lâché d'une certaine hauteur choisit toujours de tomber.
- C'est le cerveau qui donne les ordres et les autres parties sont obligées d'obéir.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Friday, September 08, 2006
Monday, September 04, 2006
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